Not sure if this question belongs here, but do you ever say no to meetings? What's your approach? If you don't but really want to, then what's the top reason why you hesitate to decline meetings?

It really depends on why you want to say no. If you know the meeting is useful but you're shy that can be a hurdle for your growth. However if you're confident but know that the meetings aren't going to add any value, you can politely decline them. I do it myself sometimes but again the reason you want to cite depends on the ones you're going to say no to.. If there's a lot at stake you cannot say that but if there isn't you can politely decline the meeting saying you're equipped with some important task. Or you can directly tell them not to include you in meetings unless completely necessary.

1. Find out what the mtg is for. 2. Find out what your role is supposed to be. 3. Find out who else is going. 4. Figure out whether you need to be there for No. 2 or whether you might learn / observe valuable stuff if you attend, which is why you want to consider No. 3. That’s because especially for junior folks or cross-functional people, it can be useful to attend certain mtgs even just to observe, depending on the agenda or on cross-functional and / or more seasoned colleagues who might attend. But this assumes that you’re savvy enough to get that out of a mtg — some people sit at mtgs and don’t process anything, so they might as well not go. You can’t marinate rocks, no matter how good the marinade. Important: Depending on the type of mtg and your role or domain expertise, you might be there because people expect you to provide perspective or input that other attendees can’t. Some people are invited for such reasons, but don’t play this role, because they’re passive, clueless or too timid to speak up. That means they lack the ability to do part of their job and their function or company might be shortchanged because of that. An easy check: If you’re tempted to miss a mtg, whatever else you’d do with the time should be higher ROI and/or your role in a mtg is superfluous or otherwise unnecessary. Those can be legit business reasons to decline, not a lame reason like you don’t feel like it or you’re shy. If you can’t tell, ask your manager. Sometimes junior or new folks haven’t developed enough judgment to discern the above. Better to learn such sooner than later. If you’re in exec roles, there can be reasons you’re invited to mtgs that are different or multilayered or wrong, but presumably by the time you reach exec level, you should be able to figure such out. As an exec, sometimes I’ll include people in mtgs to help develop them. Sometimes, I’ll have them there just to shadow; sometimes I‘ll stand back and watch how they present or how they drive discussions; sometimes I’ll send them alone to see how they perform. I can do the latter by debriefing later with certain folks who attended. Like if I’m building bench and find out that someone can’t rep us well in mtgs, I will not promote certain folks till they’re able to hold their own and contribute effectively at mtgs. And as someone who coaches mgrs from various domains, I sometimes observe or am asked by other mgrs to help some folks to fix their gaps. Some folks don’t know how to meet with execs, especially C-level, and communicate at the right altitude. That means they shouldn’t be considered for higher-level roles till they fix that. For instance, as an exec, I’ve helped people get promoted to director, VP, chief info security officer or financial controller levels by upgrading their ability to communicate at mtgs. I mention that, because some people get blocked in their careers and that’s part of their problem. Like C-level people not being able to easily get what they need from you could be an issue, depending on your role. Sometimes, in mtgs, you can observe people who do that kind of thing well and learn from them. But you have to be good at observing. Two people can attend the same mtg and the savvier will take more away or make a much better impression. That takes skill, and such skills are buildable if you’re intentional.

I say no to meetings when I don’t think they will be a good use of my time. I rarely hesitate and I’ve never been sorry. I’m a freelancer, for context and training my clients to make good use of meeting time is essential to a good relationship. The only exception is if I’m being paid hourly. Then I’ll show up to meetings every day all day if that’s what the client wants to pay me to do.

Yes! There are so many times I wish I could just get the sparknotes 😅. I decline meetings if it's very obvious I don't have to be there. Things like office hours. Got away with it for awhile until my boss pinged me asking where I am. I don't mind it though - I bake this wasted time into later due dates, turn off my camera, and scroll social media until something relevant comes up (or stay on camera and browse in a window 😂). There are some meetings I wish I could decline but don't. I've thought about asking if my presence is truly needed, but chicken out because I don't want a lecture and don't want to suddenly be given a critical role in it 🫠

@white-potato-56800 this answer was so insightful — thank you for taking the time to share

Glad it’s useful, @lemon-address-19423.