Y’all, needing some support and an #insantycheck. Is anyone resonating with my experience? Any supportive thoughts or approaches I could take? Scenario: I'm Head of Content at a seed stage SaaS startup just about 1.5 years old. We haven't found our PMF yet. I create the content strategy that's revisited when needs change either quarterly or 2x/year. But I cannot ever get proper resourcing/people support to deliver on the strategy effectively. Instead, I have had two “managers” — a CMO and after she left, a Sr. Demand Gen Mgr who suddenly became our marketing “lead” but no one ever said I'd report directly to her. There's also the CEO. And they are consistently trying to get more and more out of me while never resourcing the existing strategy based on the dependencies I've defined. Everyone just uses buzz words and asks for more more more. The latest is “thought leadership.” It's a net new investment and I don't have the time or resources to deliver on it myself. The majority of the team is also Russian and culturally that is a major challenge no one in the company is acknowledging. It's to the point where I'm just rendered speechless when I'm brought into these sessions and asked to do yet another really intensive project or produce a level of content we aren't prepared for as a company and I don't have time for. P.s. my promotion to Head was what I'd now term a “quiet promotion” where I don't make more but am held to a totally impossible standard. The “lead” is not experienced in managing a team or process. She's also a Sr. Manager and I'm a Head, but somehow she's over me, the budget and has been trying to hire my staff. Her hires don't seem to know what they're doing, have strange availability and crazy time zones, and it causes major issues. She also becomes aggressive to the point of yelling when you try to give her feedback. I've formally raised a complaint about her and since then the CEO has just been in meetings with us assigning me more stuff after I'm the only one who contributes effectively to the brainstorms in functional areas she's supposed to be managing. I'm burnt out and can't have a life doing this and it's so strange to me that these people behave this way. I'm not sure what else to do but I just want to quit. But financially I'm just uneasy about it not having something lined up. 😫 🕳️

Oof, I'm so sorry you're facing all this Carolyn. To a lesser degree, I have experienced a lot of things you mentioned here (impossible standards, unclear objectives, shifting leadership, etc.). When I was in this situation, I ended up leaving without anything lined up and freelanced. It was such a breath of fresh air. I made less money at first, but the peace was worth it. Fast forward, I worked in a startup environment that was better - but still taught me that it just isn't for me. I'm in an enterprise setting now and feel much more comfortable. TBH, I'd leave as soon as you're able to (I know others will have different advice). I've found that the work it takes to find a new job is SIGNIFICANTLY less than trying to fix the one you're in (and the rewards are usually much higher). I'd figure out exactly what my monthly needs are (just the basics), and make a plan to get your freelancing income to that point within 90 days. Or, set a smaller goal and focus on applying to places that are a better fit. Either way, remember you're in control and you have skills that people find valuable! So that gives you options!

@lemon-airport-97306 this post feels like a deep inhale and a long exhale. Hearing your experience… that you took the leap and just worked up your freelance clientele over a defined timeframe feels realistic and hopeful. ✨ I've freelanced before for agencies, but it's been awhile as I started working in startups back around 2017. You have no idea how much your kind, knowing words have helped ease my heart 💚 tonight. Thank you. 🙏

@miniature-megabyte-70920 What you describe sounds really screwed up. 1. It doesn’t sound like you can push back or influence enough to make your job reasonable. 2. In such situations, probably best to pursue other work (whether freelance or staff), at whatever pace best helps to maintain your mental and physical health, as well as financial situation. That can be tough to balance, and you might have to make painful trade-offs, which blows. You have my empathy on that front. 3. Something to consider for future: Try to build a fuck-you fund, so that you’re better able to walk away from untenable career situations and have breathing room to land other work as needed. Early in my work life, I took side gigs and scrimped like hell to build such a fund, because I didn’t want to be at the mercy of assholes or other screwed-up people. (I worked in news, an industry that often treated people badly.) That, plus living under my means, was always important to me, even when I made little at the start of my career. That’s because you want to preserve and build as much power as possible to live and work on your terms. Such a fund not only can help extract you from bad scenarios, it can give you greater confidence to negotiate harder for new work in various situations. Everyone’s circumstances and priorities differ, of course. Sometimes, you might not feel like you have much agency or control, but it’s crucial to recognize that you do, for your own sake. And you have skills that others will value. Good luck! Rooting for you!

Carolyn, I have definitely been in a similar situation before, and I'm really sorry to hear you're dealing with it right now. You mentioned feeling burned out and that you can't have a life. I would encourage you to make time for yourself before giving it all to a job that sounds like it's happy to take more and more of your time and energy without regard for your wellbeing. It's not worth sacrificing your mental health or sanity. Carve out time for yourself first before giving all your time to this job. Take care of yourself first. For me, that meant finally making time to go to the gym a few times a week, journaling more in the mornings, setting strict boundaries in the evenings where I didn't check work emails or Slack but instead gave my attention to my family. You need some way to recharge yourself and take care of yourself before you can give any more to others, especially a job like this. Another suggestion is to start saying no. That's a scary thing to do sometimes when you're depending on a job for income (it was for me), but your employer will ask more and more of you until you show them what the boundaries are. You can show them how much work you have on your plate, politely explain that you're at/over capacity based on all these projects, and that you won't be able to take on any additional projects unless you can hire someone to help you. You might also say something like, "Okay, you're asking me to lead this thought leadership initiative. I also have abc and xyz on my plate that I understand are also priorities. I don't have time for all of these. Which two are the priorities and which ones should we put on hold for now?" That way, you're not only setting a boundary, but you're also getting them to think about all the competing priorities on your plate, and (hopefully) realize that you can't do it all. These two suggestions are just to improve your quality of life while you're working there. But if things don't improve, it sounds like it's time to find something better.

@white-potato-56800, wow. I am so appreciative of you sharing what you’ve learned in your experience and how you've made it work for you. I love the idea of a fuck-you fund! I actually do have savings/investments I could use and until last night reading this I hadn't even thought about them yet and how far it could help pad my expenses while I transition. You're right in that it feels untenable at this point. I think there's some narrative from this marketing “lead” that I don't have control over that I think the CEO might be bought into and I don't think it's honestly worth my vital energy to try to change a toxic culture and system like this. I am honored and really grateful to know a bit about your journey through this kind of fucked-upness. 🙏 I'm so sorry this kind of shit ends up being our “shared experience” as women. The injustice of our work world realities pains me deeply. #nomercy #noassholes

Carolyn, I really feel for you that you’re in this situation and hope you know you’re fully supported here. The feeling I get from your post is that you want to walk away and I think you should listen to that feeling. You probably have seen this but we have a job board, freelance ops channel, @abundant-article-44364 posts tons of freelance ops every week here and on her Twitter. Maybe just looking at all the opportunities will help you realize there’s more out there and many companies that will treat you with respect 🤍 good luck 💪

@bitter-umbrella-90298… the man behind the webinar emails I get. 😏 You're hitting the nail on the head that these are the very 2 things I've had to focus a ton of energy on this year. I have a mindfulness meditation/energy work practice I do that I leaned heavily back into in the new year post my first covid experience. One of the challenges is that during the pandemic we bought a home in the countryside in an area where I don't really have community, so we just finished a road trip out West to feel out Oregon and a few other places to live that are a better fit. That lack of community and belonging in my personal life (unless I go back to Austin where I used to live), has been a contributor to the lack of balance… b/c other than online I don't have a lot of outlets right now for feeling engaged. So, we are listing our home and looking to go rent in the area we liked best for awhile. And the NOs! Omg I have been practicing setting harder boundaries and it's literally like a full-time job in this environment. I've never felt like I had to be so on guard and constantly setting and resetting and holding my boundaries in a “professional environment.” My definite next steps today are to help the CEO and COO understand what's in my plate now and basically let the CEO know that I can't create another content strategy around making up a new word in our market until the existing content strategy is resourced and invested in properly and/or all of the competing priorities refined. I really love the way you put approaching the priority/workload conversation and I'm gonna steal that! Thank you 🙏 so much! I plan to create a video to help them understand what the marketing “lead” knows, but seems to keep ignoring. Really appreciate your wise guidance and support. 🤗 💚

you got this @miniature-megabyte-70920 ✨

Oh, so glad that's helpful, @miniature-megabyte-70920! And it's good to know someone's reading those webinar emails 😆