It's a tightly-written piece overall. Nice cadence. Reads easily. I'd keep v. 1 while focusing on the last stanza. After the "in silence" line, which packs a punch, I'm not sure that it needs another stanza. It's standard advice, but like the saying goes, "Don't give away the goods too soon." For poetry, I usually take that to mean stepping back a pace or two from spelling out the moral of the story or even how the story ends at all.