Most of those steps (alignment etc.) scale with read count but parallelise across cores, give them more CPUs and they finish quickly. The only genuine problem is GroupReadsByUmi: single-threaded, and scaling worse-than-linear on your single-locus data. That’s exactly what your “grouped.bam grew, then stopped growing while the job kept running” shows, it reached the ultra-deep target region and got stuck grinding on one massive pileup. (And at ~2.45 GB MaxRSS, this is a compute wall, not memory so you can drop the 128 GB right down.)
Since you can’t add walltime (QOS) or cores (single-threaded), the only real lever is shrinking that pileup. Run 2–3 subset sizes (5/10/25%) and time just GRBU at each. Three points give you the curve, so you can pick the largest fraction that fits inside 96 h and downsample to it (samtools view -s). At this depth you have far more coverage than duplex consensus needs, so you’ll keep plenty of families. Raising --min-map-q, and double-checking the 10 nt UMIs are parsed correctly (mis-read UMIs balloon the graph), both help too.