Here’s a situation that I recently came across that I think is probably pretty common. A husband went through the yeshiva system and is now working for a company. The wife is teaching. They have a bunch of kids going through the normal frum school system. At this point they are making as much as they will ever be able to make in their current jobs (besides maybe tiny cost of living increases) somewhere around 80 - 100k take home pay. They are frugal and budgeted and don’t take vacations but their paychecks are completely used up every month with tuitions and normal non extravagant expenses. They are both working full time and taking care of their kids in the evening and have no time and or hobbies/skills that can be turned into a side hustle. Are they just doomed to eventually go bankrupt or is there something they could do?

and sometimes you have to sacrifice passion for income

Not necessarily would an entry level office job lead to anything worthwhile and in the meantime she would be leaving what she’s good at and loves to do. It sounds like a low reward high risk choice.

not just jump to a different job and hope for the best, do research, take an aptitude test, maybe speak to a career coach

People change jobs all the time because they want to make more money. Husband could also look into a diff job for more money, especially if he has a few years of experience

Changing careers and just getting another job that pays more are not always viable or even possible options.

They are frugal and budgeted and don’t take vacations but their paychecks are completely used up every month with tuitions and normal non extravagant expenses.

I have almost never seen a case where people are already budgeting properly well enough that we aren’t able to create a fair amount of breathing room. It happens, but is quite rare. We all like to consider ourselves as careful spenders, but it’s rarely the case. Especially not as intentional as someone who is running an envelope budget. While the vast majority of people believe they are self aware, only 10-15% are.

Easy to say but that is all she knows how to do.

There are dozens of frum organizations that help do career shifts, and I have seen it be successful even in their 50s. Change is hard, but the options are endless to make real change in ones life if you put in the effort and take advantage of community resources.

and sometimes you have to sacrifice passion for income

💯

Really that’s just saying well if that job doesn’t pay enough then get a different job.

Yes 🙂 That is how I, and everyone I know, ended up getting high paying jobs.

not just jump to a different job hope for the best, do research, take an aptitude test, maybe speak to a career coach

💯 absolutely! This is a lot of what my sessions turn into with families once they have the sudden realization that they need to actually start climbing out of the hole they’ve created.

has written about this, like putting money into pre-tax retirement accounts to lower gross income and therefore qualify for some government benefits, which perhaps could be beneficial for their specific case

Thank you @steep-dog-55906! Yes this is a common pattern we will do, but also, there are many ways to optimize once you have a real intentional financial plan.

It’s so so scary to make a big change, especially in a career. It’s also much easier to resign oneself to an outcome, even if it’s negative. They’d first have to admit that “eventually go bankrupt” is a very bad outcome for them, and then decide to do whatever they can to avoid it.

Better than I could have said!

Changing careers and just getting another job that pays more are not always viable or even possible options.

This is called giving up, and it has a pretty high percent chance of failure as opposed to working to fix ones situation. One can also learn to lower their standards of living if they want to stay at the job they are passionate about. I see big families in Baltimore for example where the same size family spends 50k, 100k, or 150k and it’s mostly that they each have a different definition of what is or isn’t “necessary”

re teaching, where i live tutoring is common and makes a lot of $$ per hour. so freeing up some time to tutor, either by going more part time at a school or doing one evening a week and some of sunday should be acheivable. Depending on subject, if you get into the right crowd it can be a really nice side hustle. if she has years of experience this should make her even more desirable. i tutored some 7 year olds from affluent families whose parents wanted them to have someone practise their kria with them for example. it required basically no preparation, was super easy and extremely well paid for what it was. If it is a non-kodesh academic subject eg biology high school, where i live you can charge £80/50minutes. again, if this is your bread and butter this requires little preperation, often easier and more rewarding than classroom teaching. Also, there is a market for Jewish kids in non-jewish/less religious schools who’s parents want them to have Jewish input. They often don’t even mind in what, and are happy to pay $$$ to know their kid is sitting down with someone learned and religious an hour a week. I feel like its an untapped market for teachers but it could be this is not a thing in the US?

That a bad solution...if the wife does teach than the cost of getting women teachers would be more expensive and then tuition prices would go up...so you will be back to the same issue

Tuition prices are not the issue when most people can't pay tuition anyway. It's just a mechanism to collect from the people that can pay to male fundraising easier. Also here is my pitch to fix the tuition problem https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zg4MsHiTu57ZcX8YwgUzWeDWxyfXEaNqLvKz4NCkZ3Y/edit?usp=drivesdk

If this wife doesn't teach then another woman can, perhaps one whose family isn't struggling financially when she teaches.

Yes for her...I agree...but this isn't a proper community solution....they are already complaining about the shortage of women Kodesh teachers ...and hard to compete with other opportunities frum women have these days....this issue isn't the teachers and she needs to do what works best for her. .but if we are discussing a community issue...than we are just digging the hole deeper...

We all agree teachers should be paid incredibly well. But telling people to continue to work at a salary that is not respectful and is unsustainable for their family is not a good option. Yachidim need to act for their family, and the community needs to come up with a solution. Hence, my proposition coupled with every person having a statistically accurate financial plan.

I agree...she needs to first prioritize her family ...I'm just benonong the conversation

they are already complaining about the shortage of women Kodesh teachers

not sure which location your referring to, but I've spoken to many in this field in Lakewood, and that's a position that a lot are aiming for, and some are even teaching English/long term subbing instead since their are so many that want Hebrew

It’s not that the girls don’t want to teach,” Mrs. Debbie Selengut, assistant principal at Bnos Bracha in Passaic, explains. “One of my teachers just had her last day. She’s getting married and moving to Israel, where she’ll do remote office work. She cried about how much she’ll miss her students. Another girl is marrying a learner, and she’ll be the breadwinner. She already knows that she won’t be able to buy a house on a teacher’s salary. “Some girls teach for a short time while earning a degree. As soon as they have the degree, they’re out.”

Yeah I think it's more of an issue for schools out of town

I've yet to see an issue where shorter supply than demand can't be solved by raising prices to reflect the value that isn't yet being acknowledged. If you start paying them true market value, you should see a drastic change in the shortage.

Correct ...so what this OP needs to do is raise her salary....she deserves to be properly paid

Which requires a job change unless they can single handedly change a community

I was actually responding to the article and claim of a teacher shortage, not specifically the problem the OP is facing.

I dunno, telling someone who is passionate about chinuch that her only option is get an office job and hope for the best doesn’t sit well with me. Is that really the best solution? Most likely that would mean an office job that pays even less than she was getting as a teacher and who says that it would lead to eventually getting paid anything better before they starve to death.

I certainly didn’t say office job.

Office job is menial, that alone isn't the plan. Talk to a coach!

When I do coaching, I never suggest an office job.

You have a public list of Jewish community with relivant details

I’m not sure your regular frum woman who has been teaching her whole life has the ability to get a different job that would pay enough more to make the switch worth it.

That also goes into the cheshbon.

The husband can also be the one changing jobs...

Exactly. The number are the easy part for me. It’s getting to know the family and helping them emotionally navigate large changes that takes most of my time. I automate 99% of the numbers.

Sometimes a sudden change can be a mental strain so if it can be a phasing to fine the balance

Unfortunately, that is also common…

Also what about creating a official guide on what is fair compensation for Kodesh workers ....weather they are paid or not is something else ..but at least people should know the bar

That is already a feature in our financial insights hub we are building! transparency of average income per job family by city! help us reach out goal for launching it! https://frum.finance/partner/