What if we pay for someone to watch kids? That giv...
# budgetingm
mysterious-tomato-10057
05/19/2023, 5:14 PMWhat if we pay for someone to watch kids? That gives us time so we can do things like clean.
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witty-engineer-80805
05/19/2023, 5:15 PMI thought that's what elementary school is for 🤔
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steep-dog-55906
05/19/2023, 5:15 PMProb not where you were going but tbh I don't mind cleaning, but I don't enjoy cooking! I wish I could outsource that instead, but much harder to find someone that can cook to your standards than clean to your standards!
steep-dog-55906
05/19/2023, 5:15 PM(also omg the stigma in the community! Don't get me started lol)
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witty-engineer-80805
05/19/2023, 5:17 PMPaying someone to watch kids is a more nuanced concern - unless you live somewhere with a large pool of available frum childcare, you need to worry about what they are exposed to.
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curved-toothbrush-84425
05/19/2023, 5:17 PM(also omg the stigma in the community! Don't get me started lol)Are you referring to the stigma of having someone cook for you? Or the stigma of not enjoying cooking?
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steep-dog-55906
05/19/2023, 5:21 PMThe stigma of needing to send a fresh cooked meal when someone has a baby, or home baked goods for a small kiddush, or bringing fresh food to a simcha. Of making food from scratch when having guests.
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steep-dog-55906
05/19/2023, 5:22 PMI've never looked into getting someone to cook for me because my kids are ridiculously picky (I'd buy takeout but half of them would have bread and peanut butter!) So I can't speak about the practicalities, just the vibes
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mysterious-tomato-10057
05/19/2023, 5:22 PMI've looked into a private chef. It is not affordable lol
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fast-megabyte-10597
05/19/2023, 6:02 PMYou’ve just gotta decide what’s important and budget for it 😁
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mysterious-tomato-10057
05/19/2023, 6:07 PM@curved-toothbrush-84425 still not sure how you'd like me to vote since I don't pay for cleaning help but since we have an au pair we have time to clean ourselves 🤷♂️
I'll vote none for now haha.
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microscopic-psychiatrist-27869
05/19/2023, 6:35 PMI'd rather play with my kids and pay for cleaning help
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mysterious-tomato-10057
05/19/2023, 7:20 PM@microscopic-psychiatrist-27869 I think that's a strawman without knowing someone else's situation. We all agree with that statement. So given that, maybe you're being unfair.
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thankful-angle-58448
05/19/2023, 7:20 PMomg @steep-dog-55906 I'm with you. I hate cooking too. I have actually taken friends' newborns overnight instead of sending dinner bec that's easier for me (I slept in the guest room to not bother my husband lol)
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thankful-angle-58448
05/19/2023, 7:21 PMI hate cleaning too though 🙈
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mysterious-tomato-10057
05/19/2023, 7:21 PMLike if my wife started telling women the reason she doesn't work is because she would rather play with her kids than work. Yeah I mean that's true, but it's unfair and paints families with working mothers as uncaring of their children so she would never say that @microscopic-psychiatrist-27869
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curved-toothbrush-84425
05/19/2023, 9:56 PM@mysterious-tomato-10057 You found an unexpected edge case. Are there Jewish au pairs or you have a non jewish one/
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mysterious-tomato-10057
05/19/2023, 10:11 PMThere are Jewish ones, but we have found that non Jews have been better and have less halachic issues lol
Works well for us but it's definitely not for every family.
mysterious-tomato-10057
05/19/2023, 10:14 PMThe au pairs of frum families also get to know each other so your kids end up having play dates with other frum families with non Jewish au pairs haha.