Hey, everyone... It's been a while since I've been on Discord or worked on poetry. I've mostly been waiting to hear back from a bunch of poetry submissions and working on some travel articles. Anyway, to get to the point, I recently received a rejection for one of my poems ("Walking Sunflower Road"), but I was told that it was very close. I decided to revisit the poem to see how I could make it better and asked for some further feedback from a family member. Upon their suggestion, I decided to do some tweaking. I would love to know what you guys think. Do you prefer the first version or the second version? This is from my 100-poem poetry collection of 100 different forms. This poem is a triversen, which was invented by poet William Carlos Williams (whose works I studied in college). I've attached both versions as PDFs labeled "pre-edit" and "post-edit." Thanks and much love to everyone!!! https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1093089307046182913/1537505970715103242/Walking_Sunflower_Road_pre-edit.pdf?ex=6a7f4984&is=6a7df804&hm=e825db402bfc3ba268633aef89cae61c3562f75fbd18df732402b30bdd13c97b& https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1093089307046182913/1537505971084206251/Walking_Sunflower_Road__post-edit.pdf?ex=6a7f4984&is=6a7df804&hm=cdff30b0ddca8c6057d4b6fa5013eacd74f7b3362ebdb11d84d791b18e4f4cdc&