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There is a metric

druid_jvm_mem_used

that has a property

memKind

which has possible values

'heap'

and

'nonheap'

and I believe using

nonheap

gets you the off heap usage but I can't concretely confirm that.

Spot on. That metric (jvm/mem/used) has dimension "memkind". This screenshot from Clarity, Imply's APM tool, shows simple analysis you can do with that data

I've seen that metric but I don't believe it includes the offHeap memory usage. That metric exists for all node types, but stays at around 190MB even on my indexer tasks where offHeap memory is used during kafka ingest. The amount of nonheap memory does not increase as expected during ingest/merging.