Supabase is an open source Firebase alternative. Start your project with a Postgres database, Authentication, instant APIs, Edge Functions, Realtime subscriptions, and Storage.

Supabase

I'm wondering if there's a tool that generates triggers and functions for people who don't actually know SQL? (like when this happens, do this to this table column)

Not that I know of but you can ask here for help if you are ever doing something and not sure how to do it.

Will do! I was thinking it would be amazing to have something like https://supabase-schema.vercel.app/ but that actually adds functionality, not just maps it

To make things easier for makers. Highly tempted to try building it together with someone if nothing like that exists.